• Who Defines Your Worth and Value?



    Today’s is International Women’s Day, and it is actually the first time that I am taking into account this day and really thinking of the significance of it.  I ask that you do the same, and really take into account what it means for you to be a woman?  Are you able to recognize the importance and greatness of the being that you are?

    Let me start by sharing a personal story.  Many years ago I thought I had found the love of my life. This man was everything I had ever dreamed.  The problem was that as much as I loved him and was in love with him I had too many fears, insecurities, and therefore I was not open to love. Obviously the relationship ended up not working and we ended up going our separate ways.

    Nonetheless he remained in my heart longer than anybody could have imagined. It wasn’t until many years later that I was finally able to let him go, but I still remembered him warmly. So you can imagine how surprised I was when I found out that this man, who I had on a pedestal for so long, had done something completely disrespectful, uncalled for, and not at all gentleman like behind my back!

    What did he do? After our relationship completely ended, he went around speaking very badly about me to others.  I am not going to repeat what he said, but in my opinion an ideal man does not talk about a woman especially behind her back.  Ironically I just found out about this not too long ago.

    I was really hurt because to me respect is key. I was disappointed because I would have never expected anything like that coming from him. I was shocked and angry about how I could have been so blindsided, and how I could have lived so deceived for so long.

    So how do you respond to something like that which seems like a betrayal and a total disrespect? Well if I had found out about it when it occurred I would have confronted him. However after all these years confronting him is pointless and not really worth it.

    Did I cry?  Yes I did. Did I question what could have led him to such a thing?  Yes I did.  Did I try to go back and find clues that I did not see back then?  Yes I did.  Did I try to find excuses as to why he did what he did?  Yes I did but only for a brief second because in reality I believe that there is nothing that justifies a man disrespecting a woman.

    So how did I respond?

    • I allowed myself to feel my feelings and really sit with whatever came up for me.
    • I focused on bringing compassion to that young woman who was doing the best she could with whom she was back then.
    • I used this as an opportunity for growth. How?  Well this gave me a chance to really look at my true self; who I really am, and not my persona. Regardless of what he thought of me, how he judged  me to be or not be, or what is worst the non gentleman things that he said about me to others, he does not determine my value nor my worth.

    This situation gave me an opportunity to not only see but also to recognize my own value. I am not coming from an ego standpoint complimenting myself and thinking that I am so great on a superficial level. I am coming from my true self that part of me that is Divine, connected to God, and who is able to acknowledge her worth.

    I am sharing this story to ask you woman to recognize your own value, to do this for yourself, and to not wait for anybody else to do it for you. Of course, celebrate when others do it for you, but do not rely on others to determine your worth, your value, or define who you are.  You define who you are.

    Today is International Women’s Day how are you going to celebrate yourself and acknowledge your worth, your value, and the great contribution that you bring to life? Do not take yourself for granted; honor yourself.

    “One of the most courageous things you can do is identify yourself, know who you are, what you believe in and where you want to go.” – Sheila Murray Bethel

    Please leave your comments below and let me know how you are celebrating yourself today.


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